Presents From Lola
Unexpected Gifts From Beyond From My Best Friend
My dog Lola turned 18 last Friday…and since I got her when she was 8 weeks old this was a day to be celebrated! I got her all dressed up in a birthday outfit (okay hold your horses I do not normally dress my dogs in tiny clothes…but it was her birthday!!! Come on!), put the top down on the convertible so she could happily turn her face to the sun, and then we went to The Grove and got her a cupcake from The Dog Bakery. She got so much attention, charmed everybody, and for this one day she behaved like the puppy she was when I got her at 8 weeks old. As far as days go it was most perfect both for her and me!
That night I went out with some friends and I got home earlier than I usually do. Lola came running to the door like a little puppy. I was so happy that I danced around with her. Then it was treat time! Lola and her little doggie sisters all come running up to me for treats and they each got one, happily munched them, wagged their little tails in glee and then Lola…collapsed. For a moment my heart stopped as well. The next few minutes are a blur but I managed to get to the emergency hospital is 2 minutes flat…but…
Fifteen minutes later alone in a room white and sterile and full of metal, a stranger held my hand and told me my best friend was gone.
That is very lonely feeling.
We are never prepared. No matter how old or sick they are…that loss is just profound. As I sat there in my car front of hospital that I had run into with my dog in my arms and left with empty arms…I became consumed with grief…I didn’t want to go home because I wasn’t ready to see my home without her in it. Just then my friends who I had been out with texted and when they learned what had happened they were home and already getting ready for bed they insisted on meeting me for coffee at a late night diner.
They held my hand in that brightly lit late night diner. They let me cry and babble and do the things I needed to do in that moment..and in the midst of it I looked up and saw in the window that my friend’s favorite comedian was entering this very diner(at this point I should explain that my friend is visiting from out of town so celebrity sitings are fun to point out to her!). I quietly told her of his arrival at the diner and when she looked up and saw him she blurted out…
THANK YOU LOLA!
And that my friends was the first gift from Lola…after that they just started pouring in…
Lola’s Gift #2
My Career! I have two other dogs and they are feeling the loss…so the morning after Lola died I decided to take them to the dog park. I hadn’t been in awhile and I forgot what a shmoozefest the dog park is…
Five minutes in I bump into an old friend who was producing a little tv show in a few day’s and an actress had just dropped out…and I just happened to be perfect for it…and long story short deal done right there in the dog park!
THANK YOU LOLA!
Lola’s Gift #3
My friends! My loving wonderful hilarious selfless giving friends. The reaching out train pulled into the station! From the beginning plans were made and my time was booked. So many of my friends dropped everything they had planned to come and nurture and love and laugh…I had just gone through a stretch of time where I had made my life a little too small and had lost touch with too many. But with this reaching out of friends my life has started feeling like mine again.
On the flip side there were those who dissappeared during this time. Ones who I thought were close but who just didn’t check in at all. That shocked me. It was food for thought as to the depth of those relationships. I say this with no malice because I understand that there are those people in the world who who are just not capable of being there. I have compassion for those people but I am aware that I am a person who can be there for those I love and I feel that those are the kind of people I want to keep close
Sure it is fun when people make you laugh…but when those same people make you cry more often than laugh it is time to put them where they belong in your world (Okay that last sentiment was maybe inspired by Julia Roberts in Oceans 11…when telling George Clooney she won’t take him back…Now that takes strength!)
I had forgotten how much I love going to the theatre and parties and concerts and poetry readings and art gallery openings. I love new adventures and living my life with gusto…I had forgotten that for a bit…but now my life is feeling happy and full again…I feel like me again!
Thank You Lola!
Lola’s Gift #4
My Bod! OK I am deep 92% of the time…but when it comes to weight…and I wish it was different…but alas a Downward moving scale always lifts my day. I lost 5 pounds in that first week. FIVE POUNDS! The grief diet is surprisingly effective. Not that I recomment it…but FIVE POUNDS!
Thank You Lola!
Lola’s Gift #5
My Decluttered Home! My veterinarian suggested that doing a cleaning of my home to remove Lola’s scent would help my dogs heal faster. Dogs are very scent oriented and if her scent was still there they would be confused. I don’t want them to be sad …I need to take care of them…so I started to clean…and as I cleaned I started to declutter. BIG TIME. Lola’s scent was everywhere because she was the queen of the house. When I got to the Couch I realized…well this couch had seen a lot of dog…and so I decided the couch was going…as it was going I decided I was going to change the whole look of my house from cozy and casual to more streamlined.
But the removal of the couch reminded me that I had been sleeping on the old couch recently because Lola had gotten to old to get up on the bed… so I slept on the couch so she could still sleep with me. But now I was going to go back to my bed. Which made me realize I really needed a new bed…as my old one had also seen things (I will let you decide what that is)
I wanted an adjustable bed so I could sit up in bed and read… So I went to the store where such thing as were sold. The salesman showed me The Cadillac of all beds…The head went up and down, the feet went up and down, There was a lumbar option, as well as a zero gravity option, 10 different massage options, a night light, and it even has two USB ports on either side of the bed. This bed also cost almost as much as a new car and so I told him to please show me the very basic basic bed. He took me over to his little cubicle to explain to me the prices of the very basic bed and right there on his desk was a picture of a Yorkie in a beautiful frame.
I burst out crying…it was too soon to see that photo!
He asked wht was wrong and I told him the whole Lola story…(even her gifts) up until that point…and then from behind me I heard another voice…
“I think she may be about to give you another one!”
It was the manager…he was listening to the whole story and he decided to figure out a way for me to have that Cadillac of all beds!!! No need for details here…just be assured I am still a virgin (Okay well I might be exxagerating there…but I am a bed store manager virgin).
Thank You Lola!
Last night as I got all cozy in my new bed with these guys…
I reflected on all the things that have gone down this week. Yes I am sad. I am deeply sad. I miss my girl so much my insides ache. I miss her funny little face, how she climbed into every shopping bag that came into the house because she was always convinced there was a toy in them (there often was), how no matter what she was doing if there was food in her vicinity she stopped everythig to locate said food (we had a lot in common), Her permanent bedhead, and mostly her deep soulful eyes that always seemed to be saying “Don’t worry…it will all be okay!” And she was right…I am okay. I am better than okay. I am thankful for every minute I had her, and now I am thankful for her gifts…I hope they keep coming!
Thank You Lola!
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