Hey Look Over Here..Do I Look Familiar..I’m That Chubby Gal At The Gym
I just recently went back to the gym after a long hiatus. Family emergencies, pending work issues, emotional thingees…you know sometimes life happens. Suffice it to say I took a break and packed on some pounds, and upon returning I realized something right off the bat.
OH F**K I’M THAT CHUBBY GAL AT THE GYM
Because no matter how motivated you are, how cute your baggy yet colorful with the sleeves long enough to cover upper arm jiggle but short enough not to die from shvitzing exercise clothes are, how expensive your “guaranteed to make you run long distances” (which they could only do if there were a built in full body air conditioner and difibrillator paddles) exercise shoes are, how properly combined your pre-workout breakfast/hydration formula is…
(and oh trust me mine is researched as the only thing worse than being the chubby girl at the gym… is the passed out on the treadmill I hope she’s not dead chubby girl at the gym)
No matter how much the endorphins are making you buzz (I may or may not have had a “When Harry Met Sally” Meg Ryan screaming “O” moment on the Elliptical yesterday and I do not want to talk about it)
…at the end of the day you are still the chubby girl at the gym.
Being the Chubby Girl at the Gym is kind of a wake up call because, though my self-deprecating rant above may make you feel differently, I actually have pretty high self esteem and pretty much always think I am rather adorable…everywhere but the gym. For some reason all my usual chubby detractors do not work there…
There is no low cut look at my festive bazooms tops here…or at least not after that getting rightie caught in the rowing machine while leftie in protest socked one of the roving trainers in the eye incident…so yeah I need to keep those bad boys contained at the gym.
There is no “Ooh gather around me and listen to my jokes and I will make all of our time here pass by entertaining you…as people are all wearing headphones…or pretend to be wearing headphones…a guy this morning stuck a carrot in one ear & a jock strap in the other when I walked by and averted his eyes…I am not sure if those were real headphones…I mean they could have just been ironic…except the jock strap still had his man bits in it…he was really flexible…and clearly not in the mood to hear my jokes.
There is no exotic perfume and makeup at the gym since that time I got a little sweaty and left a full on faceprint on one of the machines, and the next person to get on it thought it was the ghost of her Great Aunt Yetta coming to haunt her…I would have gotten away with it too except the other half of the makeup was still streaming down my face. I did make the best of it by spending the rest of my workout just casually working out next to her and muttering things like “Boo” and “You never called your Aunt Yetta and that’s why she died” under my breath. Someone was entertained that day..and it surely was me.
In essence when you are the Chubby Girl at the gym you are either given looks of judgement, pity, or no looks at all…which is the usual…as The Chubby Girl at the Gym is generally invisible.
But here’s the thing…I am doing GREAT at the gym. I go at least 5 days a week. Once a long time ago I was a workout maniac and had the body to prove it…and the thing is I have not forgotten what I am doing. I may be the chubmeister but I am healthy and pretty damn strong & I am in love with working out again. I love the feeling of accomplishment, I love how strong I am getting, and lord I love those endorphins (I know you want me to tell you what happened on the Elliptical the other day but you will have to buy me dinner first.) So I guess my thought for the week is.
DO NOT GIVE A F**K WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OF YOU WHEN YOU ARE WORKING OUT…YOU ARE DOING THIS FOR YOU…SO F**K THEM. (Speaking of f**k I will not go into detail about what happened on the elliptical so stop asking already)
FYI there are worse things to be than the Chubby Girl at The Gym, You could for example be…
“Oh Sure I Could Shave My Armpits but then I couldn’t give you the pleasure of inhaling my heinous B.O. girl”
Or
“Oh I could Put on Shorts but then You Would Not Have a Clear View of Me teabagging the equipment Guy”
Or
“Hey Go Ahead and Pass the time on the Treadmill Trying to FIgure Out if I Have a Weiner Girl/Guy/Whatever?”
or
“What I’m Supposed to Wear a Towel In The Sauna…Why Do That When I Can Put My Unsanitary Naked Tushie Where People May Want to Sit Girl.”
So just one last thought…
I DO NOT GIVE A F**K WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OF ME WHEN I AM WORKING OUT…I AM DOING THIS FOR ME…SO F**K THEM. (and I still won’t tell you what happened on the elliptical)
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